


a lost cause // one shot

by vyingvails



Series: The Gavin Files [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 17:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15611622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vyingvails/pseuds/vyingvails
Summary: a sad drabble diving into why gavin always appears rude and angry. please keep in mind this drabble includes my own headcanons of the characters and very, very dark and serious themes.





	a lost cause // one shot

**Author's Note:**

> ok, geez. this was originally made as a vent but the discord I sent it to liked it so much I decided to post it. please do not say "oh relatable" or "this hits too close to home" or anything like that in the comments. it makes me feel fucking awful and powerless since I can't help you, and also just adds a heavy weight on my shoulders. feedback and kudos are appreciated but not required. this drabble is written in a format with no capitalized letters and little spacing between blocks of sentences, as it was a vent originally and I didn't have effort to punctuate. enjoy.

everyone only knew gavin as someone who's rude, angry and bitter at everything, because that's how he acted ever since he joined the force. only few have seen him smile or laugh genuinely. he never lets his gaurd down, never started trusting anyone, never let anyone know his reasons why. on the inside he was hurting, fighting with himself constantly, only numb to feelings of happiness and joy and prone to sadness and guilt, his only outlet being to lash out at others as therapy wasn't in his budget. from years of being the background character, always being bested, always being picked last for the team, he fought his way to be a high ranking detective just in spite of those isolated years of no recognition. yet it never seem to come, only to be outshined again by other detectives in his work place. so he drowned every feeling of sadness and negligence and defeat with the drive to work, work and maybe it'll go away, work and maybe he'll get one article in the paper, work and maybe he'll be _happy_. the tendency for this became drastic, most nights spent awake with bloodshot eyes and dark undereyes forming under them, the habit of asking people to make him coffee springing to life. no one ever mentions the dark circles, too busy talking to him about what they just did that weekend.

eventually, the urge to work becomes meaningless. the emotional darkness becomes too much to bear and he just can't take it anymore and no one will care anyway no one has cared and they haven't for years and years and they don't know how hollow and empty he's become and he shouldn't have done this and shouldn't have been that and why couldn't he just have been _better_.

gavin doesn't show up for work the next day. he doesn't show up the next either, or the next, and for the rest of the week no one has seen him. they send someone to go check up on him after a week of absense. his apartment door is unlocked. they call his name but no answer is heard.

then they see it. they see the body of gavin reed, lying dead on the floor, with a spilled bottle of pills in his hand, wearing the clothes they all remember last seeing him in.

news spreads of his death quickly. his coworkers feel guilty for just waving him off, feel awful for not even making an attempt to talk with him about anything other than themselves. they should've said something about the dark undereyes, show some concern for his wellbeing. should've at least told him something _nice_ about himself.

his desk remains untouched for years.

when elijah found out his brother died, he cried for hours. sure he hasn't talked with his younger sibling in years but he still loved him as much as he did back when they were kids. he knew he was still out there somewhere, solving cases like the ambitious kid he once knew. but now, knowing that determined soul is dead from his own thoughts leaves him totally distraught. he keeps thinking on what would have happened if he knew about his struggle, if he reached out in someway to help him, offer to pay for the help he needed. but he didn't, and now his little brother, his creative, headstrong little brother, is gone for good. he pulls out the friendship bracelet gavin made him years ago, the day before he left for college, from a drawer, and ties it on to his wrist, needing something from his brother to cling to as he dwells on his death.

for the rest of elijah's life, he thinks "what if". he keeps that beautifully crafted bracelet on his wrist till the day he dies, taking it to his grave. him finally being reunited with his brother, their death dates eerily drastic in number.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are appreciated. thank you for reading.  
> AGAIN, DO NOT SAY "I RELATE TOO MUCH" OR "THIS HITS TOO CLOSE TO HOME" IN THE COMMENTS, /PLEASE/. IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME TO READ THAT STUFF AND JUST MAKES ME FEEL SO SHITTY FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HELP YOU.


End file.
